Nadir

1:34, Had Nadir experience -- or inverted plateau.

You.

Dark, Low, Wide, receptive.

Dark cave poolswim.

Cold mud boot walking.

Wet rain walk.

Drink mist shadow night.

Wonderful.

Random fire lookout historical data

First lookout site in Oregon: 1906

After a bit of sickness

[This post happens after a whole lot of writing exercises, and some mention of not being able to keep food down. Also, mention of nearly zero visibility in the tower -- basically completely fogged in with clouds.]

I feel better, and still haven't eaten or drank. I took a fucking *walk*, that's all.

This whole month, inside the mind (tower) not having anything to see, no visibility (only because I was "above it all") is too easy an analogy. Like when K. [an older poet friend from the bay area, somewhat of a mentor] called out, derringer in hand, "give me a sign, that's all i ask, a sign to know you exist." God sends? A man, out of nowhere, carrying a sign, "Jesus loves you." The sufi's say" It's closer than your Jugular." And I believe them.

(I must find this woman Cynthia, the one whose eyes are blue, jaw square, and has lived the life of the mendicant)

I'm going to write a letter to my sister. Bye for now. Much love.

Reminder to self -- between July 23rd and July 25th

Write on the snake in the pit full of rusted cans sometime.