Monday, May 10, 2010

Book List -- off the shelf of a fire lookout

[this appears to be a book list of all the books I had on the shelf up there, including stuff I'd read before and brought up to think with. I can definitely pick out a large section of the list as being books I read for the first time up in the tower]

Psychology/Cognitive Science, etc:

Bly, Robert; Iron John
A Little Book on the Human Shadow

Pearson, Carol; The Hero Within: Six Archetypes We Live By

Maslow, Abraham; Religions, Values & Peak Experiences
Toward a Psychology of Being

Jung, Carl G.; Memories, Dreams, Reflections
Septem Sermones Ad Mortuos

Sinetar, Marsha; Ordinary People as Monks & Mystics

Fritz, Robert; The Path of Least Resistance

Dennet, Daniel C.; The Mind's I: Reflections and Fantasies on Self and Soul

Buscalia, Leo; Personhood

Mindell, Arnold; Riding the Horse Backwards, working with the dreaming body
Working on Yourself Alone

Harner, Michael; The Way of the Shaman

Highwater, Jamake; Primal Mind


Zukaf, Gary; The Dancing Wu Li Masters

Capra, Fritjof; The Tao of Physics


Erdrich, Louise; Jacklight

Cummings, E.E.; 96 Poems

Budkowski, Charles; The Last of the Great Earth Poems

Barnard, Mary (trans.); Sappho

Mitchell, Stephen (trans.); The Selected Poetry of Ranier Maria Rilke

Bly, Robert (trans. editor); The Kabir Book
News of the Universe: Poems of Twofold Consciousness
Leaping Poetry

Rexroth, Kenneth (trans.); One Hundred Poems from the Chinese
Love and the Turning Year; One Hundred More Poems from the Chinese

Snyder, Gary; The Backcountry
Riprap and Cold Mountain Poems
Turtle Mountain
Myths & Texts

Rothemberg, Jerome (editor); Technicians of the Sacred -- Shaking the Pumpkin

Jeffers, Robinson; Selected Poems

Lorca, Federico Garcia; Selected Poems of Federico Garcia Lorca

Elliot, T.S.; The Wasteland and Other Poems

Ginsberg, Allen; Howl

Cardenal, Ernesto; Homage to the American Indian

Rich, Adrienne; Dream of a Common Language

Gibran, Kahil; The Prophet
The Forerunner

Literature, prose & essays:

McCarthy, Cormac; Suttree
Blood Meridian
The Orchard Keeper

Kingston, Maxine Hong; Woman Warrior; Memoirs of a Childhood Among Ghosts

Hemingway, Ernest; In Our Time

Eisley, Loren; The Immense Journey

Abbey, Edward; Desert Solitaire

Lopez, Barry Houston; Desert Notes
River Notes
Winter Count
Crossing Open Ground

Stafford, Kim; Having Everything Right

Hammill, Sam; A Poet's Work

Bowles, Paul; A Distant Episode

Calvino, Italo; Under a Jaguar Sun

Leopold, Aldo; A Sand County Almanac

Dillard, Annie; Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
Holy the Firm

Pound, Ezra; The ABC of Reading

Silko, Leslie Marmon; Ceremony

Hill, Ruth Bebe; Hanta Yo

Welch, James; Fool's Crow

Mombaday, N. Scott; House Made of Dawn

Erdrich, Loyise; Tracks

Schneebaum, Tobias; Keep the River on your Right

Barry, Wendell; What are People For?

Paz, Octavio; On Poets and Others

Goldberg, Natalie; Writing Down the Bones
Wild Mind, Living the Writer's Life

Hesse, Herman; Siddhartha
Narziss & Goldmund

Potok, Chaim; My Name is Asher Lev

Chatwin, Bruce; The Songlines

Cocteau, Jean; Les Infants Terrible

Burroughs, William S.; Nova Express

Miller, Harry; Sexus

Borges, Jose Louise; Labyrinthes

Mythology/Comparative Religion:

Radin, Paul; The Trickster

Han, Thict Nat; Being Peace

Campbell, Joseph; The Hero with a Thousand Faces
Myths to Live By

Tedlock, Dennis (trans.); The Popul Vuh

Arguelles, Jose; The Mayan Factor
Earth Ascending; and illustrated treatise on the governing of whole systems

Native American Interest (what wasn't scattered in other categories):

Neihart; Black Elk Speaks

Erdoes, Richard; Lame Deer; Seeker of Visions

Castaneda, Carlos; The Teachings of Don Juan; A Yaqui Way of Knowledge
Journey to Ixtlan

Storm, Hyemeyohsts; Seven Arrows
Way of the Heyokah

Mails, Thomas; Fool's Crow; Wisdom & Power

Foster, Steven &
Little, Meredith; The Book of the Vision Quest
The Roaring of the Sacred River

Sun Bear; The Path of Power
Earth Astrology

Boyd, Doug; Rolling Thunder


Twitchell, Paul; Tiger's Fang

Bailey, Alice H.; Initiations, Human & Solar
Consciousness of the Atom
Ponder on This

Two Disciples; The Rainbow Bridge II, link with the soul

Keyes, Ken; Starseed; The third Millineum
Return of the Bird Tribes

Alli, Antero; Angel Tech: A Modern Shaman's guide to Reality Selection

Hyatt, Christopher; A Modern Shaman's Guide to a pregnant universe

Millman, Dan; Way of the Peaceful Warrior
The Sacred Path of the Peaceful Warrior

Purse, Jill; The Mystic Spiral

Monday, May 3, 2010

July 25, Dream -- Bear fat

Something about sitting around with a couple of men in a big room with a bunch of young kids, having ordered pizza.

We were sitting around talking about "what did you do with your bear fat?" "I froze it. " "Might as well eat vasoline."

Friday, April 30, 2010


1:34, Had Nadir experience -- or inverted plateau.


Dark, Low, Wide, receptive.

Dark cave poolswim.

Cold mud boot walking.

Wet rain walk.

Drink mist shadow night.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Saturday, April 17, 2010

After a bit of sickness

[This post happens after a whole lot of writing exercises, and some mention of not being able to keep food down. Also, mention of nearly zero visibility in the tower -- basically completely fogged in with clouds.]

I feel better, and still haven't eaten or drank. I took a fucking *walk*, that's all.

This whole month, inside the mind (tower) not having anything to see, no visibility (only because I was "above it all") is too easy an analogy. Like when K. [an older poet friend from the bay area, somewhat of a mentor] called out, derringer in hand, "give me a sign, that's all i ask, a sign to know you exist." God sends? A man, out of nowhere, carrying a sign, "Jesus loves you." The sufi's say" It's closer than your Jugular." And I believe them.

(I must find this woman Cynthia, the one whose eyes are blue, jaw square, and has lived the life of the mendicant)

I'm going to write a letter to my sister. Bye for now. Much love.

Reminder to self -- between July 23rd and July 25th

Write on the snake in the pit full of rusted cans sometime.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Surprise find on a hike, continued

Later, on another walk, I smiled and picked up the egg again. I began to polish it carefully on the skin of my palm, and it shone blue and porcelain-y.

Then it broke. Stunned, I looked into my palm to see the sunflower-orange yolk speckled with bits of white & blue shell, like broken China. A brief volley of relief to see no defenseless blue-eyed fetal embryo -- not even a red dot of intention on the yolk. I let the clear and yellow egg drip off my onto the ground. I wrung my fingers like a baker with her hands covered in dough. Using the dewdrops off a fern bough, I washed the last sticky remnants off my hands & let the water drip, again, onto the same spot of ground.

I walked down the road, the smell of raw egg strong in my mind, and on my hands. I crouched at a red-silt pothole in the road, I scrubbed my hands with wet gravel & mud, then rinsed them. Almost afraid, I smelled them. Cold, muddy earth -- clean. I trust them back into the pockets of my thick green wool trousers and walked down the road. Seasons change, cycles turn, life ensues.